Own Your Fear of Change

The following is a guest post by Sam Marquit, author of fmarquitv.tumblr.com

In his essay, he speaks of anxiety, what it is and how to deal with it. I am absolutely no stranger to anxiety.... I've dealt with it for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I can control it easily, sometimes it gets out of control. So, what helps? This blog helps me. Exercise helps me. Sometimes just talking it out helps me.

Of course, everyone ticks a bit differently, read on for some of Sam's thoughts and tips.

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I own several pieces of Long Island real estate, so I encounter many tenants who have a hard time adjusting to change.  It's natural for people to find comfort in a routine, fear change and feel anxiety when their routine is disrupted.  This is what protected people when the world was a scarier place, and this fear continue to protect us even today.  When the threat is small but fear is strong, this can be a problem.  

How To Feel Secure

When a person has food to eat, safe shelter and cash in the bank for emergencies, they feel safer.  Moving to a new home or starting a new job can cause fear and anxiety because people do not like their daily routine changed.  These big changes force people out of their comfort zone, and they may react with increased anxiety. 

The Effects of Anxiety

Everyone gets anxious or worries sometimes, especially when undergoing a big life change.  As humans, we have a natural fear instinct that causes us to react to stimuli that threatens our sense of security or safety.  One way we react is with increased anxiety.  After a while, this anxiety can lead to depression, trouble sleeping and other health problems.  If this happens, you should talk to your doctor. 

Relieving Anxiety

When I moved to an apartment away from my family, I started feeling frustrated and unhappy.  I had mini panic attacks where I would feel like I was choking and feel nauseous.  These physical symptoms were a direct result of my inability to cope with the move.  When the body experiences stress, it releases excess hormones, including cortisol.  These hormones can lead to high blood pressure, which can negatively affect your physical health.  I had to learn new ways to deal with these feelings to feel better and reduce physical and mental symptoms.

While I'm sitting here feeling like a Martian...

Something is going on in my head and/or my body. I don't know what exactly it is and so it is hard to explain... I feel like I need to relax and let it happen. I'm not going to worry, just going to let it be. Perhaps it's as simple as an inkling of this virus my little two are going through... perhaps...

So, while my brain is closed for maintenance (rewiring?), I thought I'd make a happy little list of some positive things we've got going on around the Deneweth House.

• Christopher applied for and got a new job within his current company! Promotion! He even gets to move to a different building in the Progressive compound. :)
• Roxy is doing so well in school, reading like a first grader, pouring out her creativity in making books and pictures every day. She is happy in this school and I'm glad she feels comfortable in an institution I was so worried she'd get buried in.
• Riley is growing up into such a handsome little freckle faced boy. And such a gentleman! I'm starting to understand already why Mommas are so critical of the girls their little boys bring home.
• Zoie (who is feeling much better today) is starting to 'talk' in the cutest way. I don't remember the other two doing this kind of talking. It's like she's making up her own little language. And she's definitely developed her shoe fetish... a stage the other two went through, and I remember so well. I guess all three of my children got the Aunt Lisa/shoe fetish gene.
• I'm happy to report we've been successful vegetarians for over a month now! The new menu developing around here is so refreshing.
• I know bankruptcy is supposed to be bad, but now that we are into it, I see it as a fresh start. We need this fresh start so badly. The suppression of the debt we were drowning in was so heavy. At this point, it's still there, but I feel like it's backed off slightly already. 
• I am so happy to have made the choice to stay home and Mother my children. I wouldn't trade this past year and a half in for any credit score. This line of work has definitely been the most rewarding, I've learned the most from it and grown the most from it. I can't wait to see where it brings me. I'm so up for the challenge that lies ahead. (So this last one was more of a reflection, but it's positive to reflect on your choices, and more positive to feel good about them.)

Everyone have a wonderful, happy Tuesday! xo

<3, Tabi :D

 

Anxiety and Super Duper Awesome Thursday

Warning: Ramblings Ahead

Catharsis Thursday??

I have had anxiety since as long as I can remember. Anxiety over different things, my own health, my loved ones' health, the state of the world, the end of the world, the fate of humanity, intruders, planes crashing into my home... (this list truly could go on for thousands of words, I will spare you).

The depth of my anxiety and how much it affects the way I live my life gets better and gets worse. Sometimes, it almost disappears. Sometimes, it's way worse...

I've found, the busier I keep myself, the more it seems to disappear, if only temporary, which is absolutely is a welcome vacation from the irrational part of my brain.

Lately, I've found it's way worse. I feel the negative energy in the world and it really affects me.

So, in order to keep myself busy... today was declared SUPER DUPER AWESOME THURSDAY!!!

Lunch with Roxy, SuperTarget errands, Dinner at Chipotle (Happy Meals with Star Wars toys for the kids), Pump It Up, then Menchie's (mmmm.... Menchie's) . Whoo!!  I bet you got exhausted just reading all this.

But everyday can't be Super Duper Awesome. I've tried many things in the past (and present) to get control over my stupid irrational brain: therapy, psychiatry, exercise, breathing, ignoring it, talking about it... I've gotten pretty good at managing it when the anxiety is in the 3-7 range (on a scale from 1-10).

But anxiety levels 8-10 are hard. Especially when people (little people) are depending on you.

I'm currently searching... I need to find... <sigh> Do people outgrow anxiety?

Maybe I need to schedule a visit with a therapist.

This one looks trustworthy.

I feel better already. <3

<3, Tabi :D

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