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Tabi Happy has moved. Please stop by the new place & say hi! Can't wait to see you there.

http://www.tabihappy.com

xoxo

Busy Busy Busy.

13 days in and not 1 Tabi Happy post. What's going on, you say?

My teal wall, caught in transition. This is my 'abstract art' photo.

Well...

I moved, you see. It's been a bigger deal than I originally thought it would be. Not so much physically or the work involved (I had a good idea about all that). But the emotional and internal aspects of moving this time are what surprised me the most.

I was looking forward to this clean, blank canvas of a start for us. Well, after about 3 weeks of cleaning and painting, I am ecstatic to say our clean blank canvas is ready.

I won't feel completely "in" this new home of ours until all the loose ends from our old home are tied up and I can put that behind me. I need closure to move on. It seems that's how my brain works. I have lots of empty walls and seedlings of change inside me for myself, for my children, for these walls. Yet, I can't bring myself to start watering and nurturing these seedlings until ties are cut with the old place.

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. A little bit alien with a touch of brain fog.

A huge contribution to the alien invasion inside my brain is this fracking pollen. Is it just me or is it horrible this year?? Dr. Tabi/self-professed diagnostician tells me that it's a trifecta of the pollen + stress of moving + dust, Dust, DUST! To spare you of the snotty details, let's just say I'm ready to sign the papers to have my sinuses removed already. What do we need those for anyways??

I noticed myself just this past Sunday starting to notice the 'little things of beauty' in this new place:

- The clean, white walls + morning sun pouring in makes for sunlit crazy Zoie Boie morning hair.

- Finally having our art supplies out of cardboard boxes has lit the spark of creativity in my Roxy again, I'm so happy she has an outlet for all of her dramatic feelings.

- Just two nights ago, my husband was inspired to take something (our beloved coffee grinder!) apart and repair it, make it better. Fixing and repairing is his creative outlet.

- My Bear is stuck in Minecraft at the moment. I don't know much about the game, but he builds all sorts of things and I have to think that, while not my medium of choice, video games seem to be his creative outlet. Not only does he play them with such anticipation, but when I force him to turn it off for a bit, he'll come over to the drawing table and map out new things he wants to build in Minecraft.

So, amidst my change in domicile, I'm starting to feel inspired to make changes elsewhere. This blog, my daily schedule, my responsibilities and their ranks in priority. So, keep up with me and come back for changes - good positive, forward moving changes - happening around here.

(I'm loving this spark of enthusiasm I'm feeling right now.)

Just as soon as my sinuses stop being angry with me, that is.

<3, Tabi :D

While I was supposed to be packing.

Shoebox 1 full of high school letters, 1998 concert ticket, shoebox full of cassette tapes, Jodeci (!!) and my beloved pager.

I got figuratively stuck in a shoebox full of letters from high school yesterday when I was supposed to be packing. It was like crack for my soul. I could not bring myself to finish packing up my closet, make dinner or even to get up to pee. I was stuck for well over 2 hours, yikes!

Sifting through this box full of letters, I realized: (1) I had a small group of really awesome friends, (2) we were so dramatic even though our biggest problems were that our parents wouldn't let us talk on the phone forever or we couldn't find a ride to the mall, and (3) breaking up with (certain) boys made us feel like death was less painful.

I made a promise to myself and even made my friend (who most of these letters were from anyways) swear with me that when our daughters are teenagers and they come to us crying their hearts out because a nerdy little boy broke their heart - we are not allowed to laugh at them. We are not allowed to get frustrated at their depression because we know, in the long run, that they maybe won't even remember what was so cool about said nerdy little boy. Reading those letters made me remember how real those feelings were and how insanely HUGE they felt at the time. Also, that nerdy little boy that broke up with them when they were 14 just might bring them pain and shape their future relationships for the rest of their lives! I made myself a promise to always remember that pain so I can try my hardest to make my little girl feel better with retail therapy, sappy movies and ice cream because, really... it's the only thing that helps.
...
I also found a Will I wrote out at the tender age of fifteen. I must've laughed for a solid five minutes at this, so I thought I'd share. Names have been blurred out for privacy, of course.

"Dear Whom It May Concern,

This is the last Will and Testament of Tabi Kohansby being of sound mind and body I do decree that when I die I should be buried in my black sundress with flowers, with a flower necklace and my funky black sandals. My hair should be done like I do it. It will be an open casket funeral & I want sunflowers & daisies. MM will invite all my friends. I want everyone to be sad & cry a lot. She can have all my clothes & she must wear the dresses a lot. SH can have my TV and whatever else she wants. TW can have all my CD's. MM can also have my CD player since she doesn't have one. TW can have my phone and my jewelry. 
Last but not least I want my parents & family to know I love them. Tiffany, Trisha, Crystal, TJ and Grandmom, too.

(Here comes the embarrassing part)
I want to declare here & now that the only 2 guys I ever loved were ---- & ----. But I love all my friends especially ....... And all other I may have forgot. Remember, I love you all.

LATER!

LOV,

Tabi K.

Aug. 22, 1995

p.s .... gets my turtles and my hermit crab. .... gets my Simba. MM can have my roller blades. And to ..... my funky hat collection! ... gets my pager. "

I mean it's so important to have this stuff in writing! I wouldn't want my loved ones fighting over my CD's and roller blades, you know.

<3, Tabi :D

Wish Bracelet.

Her bead that fell out... kept safe inside a ziplock. :)

You know those wish bracelets? Yea those. The ones made of hemp and seven tiny beads that you put on, make a wish and don't take off. When the bead(s) falls off, your wish is 'released'.

Well, Roxy got one for her birthday and I'm pretty sure that her and Riley believe it's magical. She made her wish, put it on and didn't dare tell a soul what her wish was for fear it wouldn't come true.

Fast forward to this afternoon when she came home from school with a bead that fell from her bracelet kept safely in a ziplock bag.

As soon as we walked in the door, Roxy ran to her room and busted in the bathroom (where I was peeing!) and pulled her wallet out. She dumped all the money in her wallet out onto the counter and started counting. She lost count at least 5 times before I stepped in to help her. We counted carefully all her dollars and quarters and dimes and pennies. $39.19 was the grand total.

She looked at me and said, "But did you count all the pennies?"

I did. Still, we had $39.19. I thought it was a great amount to have. $39.19 is big bucks for a seven year old, if you ask me!

A look of total disappointment came over her face. Her bottom lip pouted and she choked back the tears. She told me her wish was for $1000. She was going to use the $1000 to buy lots of stuff for our new house, some toys for her and Riley and give me some so I could save it for when we were running low on money.

This is the part where I started to choke back the tears.

I was so sad for her. I told her that just because the $1000 wasn't in her wallet, she probably had $1000 in other ways. She felt a little better and ran off to tuck her money away safely.

Ten minutes later she decided the wish bracelet didn't work properly because one day it fell off and we had to re-tie it back on. Obviously, that must have caused a break in the magical contract that you agree to when you take on a wish bracelet.

So we are going to try again.

*Wish us luck!*

<3, Tabi :D