Dreams do come true!

Once upon a time, not so long ago...

<cue the Disney music>

... I made a wish on a star. I wished for a brand new - in the box, shiny new white iPhone.

I must've been a goooood girl, because today my wish was granted. 

Dear Fedex man,

         Thanks so much for delivering my phone on time and in perfect condition.

                                                                                              Thanks again, Tabi

It's soooo coool.... :D

Long story short... my Mom is awesome, I got my shiny new phone, it rocks, I LOVE it, it can keep up with me!!!! I am a happy happy happy Tabi.

A couple more love notes. <3 <3 <3

Dear Mom,

         You always know what it takes to make me happy. What did I do to deserve everything I ever wanted? You did a super great job wrapping up the phones, it did the job and made a strong presentation. I loved the decorative wrapping paper you commissioned Lala to create.

                                                                                              Love, Tabi

Dear Apple,

         You guys make kick ass stuff. This white iPhone 4 you made for me is perfect. The camera rocks, it keeps up with me, there's a FLASH!! You guys rock!

                                                                                              Love, Tabi 

That's it! I'm putting my kids in bubbles.

"Bad Guy Face"

While changing out of our bathing suits in the locker room at the Y - trying to be faster than the impending torrential downpour - there was an incident. The incident looked like this:

Roxy, Riley and Zoie (and the stroller) and me in 3 cubic feet of space trying to change. The Bear, trying hard to stay happy - already in a crummy mood from the rain and being cold and wet.
A little girl, 6 walks up to Riley and asks him why his ears are so big.

Me: His ears aren't big, they are perfect.
Girl's Mom: Honey, what did you say about his ears?
Girl: Look at them, they stick out. Why are they so big and why do they stick out?
Me: Riley, your ears do not stick out. <continuing to change a wiggly baby on the 12" of space on the bench I claimed.>
Riley: <starting to put on his bad guy face>
Girl: Why is he so little?
Me: He's 3. How old are you?
Girl: I'm six, but he is really little. And oh my gosh - his skin is so white!
Girl's Mom: His skin is not that white, your skin is white when you don't go to the pool all the time.
Girl: My skin is NOT THAT WHITE. He is REALLY white. Like milk. Why is he so white??
Me: Trying to move faster and noticing Riley's head about to explode...
Girl: And why does he look so mad?

I tried really hard to be nice and act like the grown up - I downplayed it and finished up and left (and got soaking wet on the run to the car. In retrospect, we really should have left our bathing suits on. We got changed to only go home soaking wet and have to change again.)

But the more I think about this, the more it bugs me. I celebrate my children's differences. Riley is white and skinny and he will grow into his ears, but I love him the way he is and I want him to be proud of his differences. I don't want some kid to be rude and make him feel like he shouldn't be the way he is.

I am not ready for this. They are going in bubbles. And if some rude kid laughs at them for being in their bubble, then they won't hear it anyways.

The bubbles will also come in handy when those nasty stomach bugs are going around. 

Do they sell these bubbles at Target?

p.s. Shout out to my 1 follower!! woot woot. ;)

Whiny Monday

I hate when the kids whine, but they get it from me.

I just need to get it out of my system, then I can move on, right???

1. Regis and Kelly won't come in on my TV.
2. My boob hurts and it's bugging me! (I think I have a clogged milk duct)
3. My knee hurts and it's bugging me!
4. The boob thing is REALLY bugging me!
5. My iPhone Facebook app won't let me update my status.
6. Chris didn't move fast enough this morning with making my coffee (ok - now I'm just sounding like a spoiled brat)

Wow! That list sounded way bigger in my head. I do feel a little better, a funny picture to further lighten my mood...

King Daddy

... and the moving on part. My goals this week:

• Do at least one FUN thing with the kids per day.
• Work out 3 times.
• Get all the chores done.
• Plan something awesome for the Fourth of July.

OK.....

GO!

My baby is a growler

Don't let her baby blue eyes, cute strawberry blonde sticky up pigtails and pink rosy cheeks fool you. This is NOT my timid child. Do not... I repeat... DO NOT steal candy from THIS baby!

This is different. R and R (the older siblings) have always been labeled as shy. I'm not used to this. Will it make things easier? or not??? Hmmm - this could be interesting.

Scenario: Living room, tons of toys for everyone. Zoie carefully chooses Mr. Freezer to play with/chew on (teething, remember?). Back story: Mr. Freezer is Riley's choice bad guy of the moment. So The Bear goes to retrieve said prized possession...

Bad idea.

Zoie makes a noise - a GROWL that would make a tough puppy whimper. Her whole body tenses up and she's turning red. For someone that is 20 pounds and only knows the word "uh-oh", this is super intimidating.

The Bear backs off. Afraid of the wrath of Zoie Rainbow.

This scenario happens on a steady and normal basis - not a one time anecdote.

Is this normal for the baby in a 3 1/2 kid family? Is this the personality that develops naturally in order for her needs to be met?

Gotta go. There's a kid yelling at me for some apple juice.

<3

On being a hippie (but not the dirty kind)

Hippie: one who is aware

 Being a "hippie" is kind of a goal for me.  Hippies are all about peace, love, happines, being green/eco-conscious, etc etc... and all those things sound pretty freakin' awesome to me. I say 'kind of' because I don't want to give up my luxuries, go off the grid and drive around in a van.

Things I've achieved that I can cross off my hippie goal checklist:

• I love Dharma and Greg! I mean LOVE this show. Back when we had cable, I used to DVR all the rerun episodes even though I've seen them all - MANY times. I mean, what's not to love about this show?
• I search for inner peace constantly. I yoga whenever I can, I follow @tinybuddha on twitter. Achieving inner peace is a hard one, but I am working on it.
• I reduce, reuse and recycle, use reusable grocery bags, buy 'green' cleaning products (Charlies Soap anyone?), I'd drive a Prius if I could fit 3 car seats and an additional kid in it. 
• I do my best to be grateful. This concept is fairly new to me - but in my prayers every night I thank God for my blessings. And I am grateful I have an iPhone - even if it's just a 3G at the moment... on a 2G network (inside joke).
• I never wear proper shoes.
• I have a kid named Rainbow - middle names count!
• NOT a Republican!

I'm thinking I will come back to this with some post edits. I know I'll think of more.

So, what do I need to work on?

• Well, obviously achieving peace is an ongoing work in progress.
• I need to find ways to move my peace workings outwards - towards my family, community, and onwards. ;)
• Love more (ahem, Christopher - wink, wink)
• I need to be more green. I had this idea a while ago that I need to buy only locally grown produce. It's a great idea - and I'm going to do it. It's just harder than it sounds. 
• Yoga MORE! Eventually I will be that hot yoga Mom. I even would love to teach yoga one day.
• Be more of a humanitarian. 
• I want to get one of those fat buddhas in lotus position for my garden. And I need a garden.

What did I mean by 'but not the dirty kind'? I just meant that I shower. And I wear deodorant. And I'm not like the camping - outdoorsy type of chick. Not that camping makes you dirty - well it does - but that's not what I'm saying.

Peace!

p.s. Camping only makes you short term dirty, that's what I was trying to say.

Today is V Day...

.... and my baby is teething - hardcore teething. A week ago, I noticed two top teeth coming in and today she seems super duper sensitive. Upon inspection, I believe she may be cutting quadruple time - upper teeth (in my experience, top teeth are harder)! That is what I call HARDCORE!

 

 

 

Crazy haired, pink chick ZoBo. Caught her in a happy moment!

So, I have a hardcore teether, ZoBo - who is already the worst sick kid ever - and today is V day, but I have no time or additional brain cells to devote to thinking about V day. It's probably best I don't dwell on it anyways. I will realize it's the best thing anyways. My hubs knows what he's doing.

I am coming to terms. Overhearing people commenting on my kids in stores (they do that a lot), I've heard many things. One statement I've heard many times, "I miss when my kids were that age." I think to myself, I love the age they are now, but as they get older, I don't miss the baby versions of them. They grow into such amazing, interesting, beautiful, funny, crazy little people - I could never turn back the time just so they would be smaller, droolier, quieter versions of themselves. Then again, I could be incorrectly seeing the friendly strangers' perspective as Christopher tells me I do so much.

I will say this: I feel like today marks the end to one 'era' in my life, but I'm just at the beginning of another. My babies are little. At 9 mos, 3 and 5, my oldest is just starting Kindergarten in the fall. We did VPK and I'm beginning to realize (silly as it sounds) that raising children doesn't end with the kids starting school. While babyhood and toddlers are major hard work, it doesn't get easier when they are old enough to wipe their own butts and you can drop them off at school. It just gets different. While my pregnancy days may be over, my baby raising days are just beginning.

Time for a whole new adventure, guys!

P.S. On the teething subject, I just bought Humphrey's Teething Tablets at the store as my beloved Hyland's were taken off the shelf. I have to say so far, they don't do the magic Hyland's Teething Tablets are capable of. I miss you little pink and blue bottle. Please come back soon. :(

The Magic Song

From growling to O-U-T in 1.5 Rainbow Songs

I believe in magic, do you?

The 'Rainbow Song' is the latest magic thing I've discovered. It has the power to calm and/or cause my ZoBo to fall asleep - EVERY TIME!!!

I LOVE the Rainbow Song. <3

I highly recommend it.

Inner Peace and Kung Fu Panda 2

This blog is supposed to be about my goals and how I achieve them. I've always been a little bit selfish, so I have a lot of goals. Lucky for me... I am lucky! Whatever I want - I mean the things I really really really really want - I get... eventually.

One of my eventual goals is: Inner Peace

Backstory: About 4 months after the birth of my son, The Bear. I start having major panic attacks. Ask my Mom, I literally thought I was dying every day for at least 3 months (from different things, brain tumors, strokes, aneurysms, etc). This kind of stress takes a major toll on your body, mind and spirit. Obviously, I was looking for answers. Me - not being the religious person of any sort, goes to the doctor to get relief in the pill form. This causes further depression and panic attacks because it means I have to wean my baby from the breast before either of us are ready (this still brings a huge pang of guilt and a tear to my eye to this day).

I remember breaking down at the doctor's office one day and a nurse says to me, "Don't worry, dear, Jesus will not take you away from your babies."

This sticks with me. It was three years ago, and I can still tell you how this nurse wore her hair, what the color of her scrubs were, etc. And if you know me, I am NOT an observant type of person.

The doctor tells me after handing me a script for anti anxiety meds that maybe I should make an appointment with a therapist.

I go to said therapist one time. She tells me I need to go to church.

Maybe God was telling me something.

At this point in my existence I was an atheist? or is it agnostic? So, you can see how these things stick out to me. It goes against all that I think is the truth.

This higher power knows I'm not good at picking up subtle signs, so He has to be blatant.

The main reason I think I'm dying is headaches. Brain tumor, aneurysm, strokes... so I visit a chiropractor and go into panic attack mode there. He suggests I take some yoga classes at the local YMCA. This is something I'm willing to try.

Let me say yoga is something that always makes me feel better. I'm not a very grounded person and yoga somehow seems to connect my body and spirit and makes me feel amazing and at peace, if for just a moment. I will have to expand on this later as yoga is another of my major goals in life.

(Side note: The YMCA is an amazing place and I am so thankful for it.)

Anyways, I'm getting distracted. A combination of yoga, working out and anti-anxiety meds leads me out of constant panic attack mode. Woo!! Then I start to reflect on the signs. I connect some dots and conclude that leaving spirituality out of my life totally threw me off balance. Not talking about cells and carbon and cell makeup, 'we'... as conscious beings... are made up of mind, body and spirit. I can't be of sound mind or body without the spirit part. I was totally denying myself of the spiritual part of my life. I can't ignore this any more. But, I can't just subscribe to the cookie cutter Bible type religion, either. A wise friend once told me, "It's not true unless it's true to you."
TOTALLY! My husband can tell me something, my Mom can tell me something, I can read it on the internet, but if it doesn't seem true to me, I'm not going to believe it until it feels true to me... not until I get that truthful feeling in my soul. And I'm not so sure about the whole God created earth in 7 days and Noah had all the animals on the ark stories. So, I decide I need to find my religion. And religion to me means finding inner peace. Knowing to my core that everything is okay.

I try to pay more attention to 'signs' these days.

Things I start to think about in trying to better myself and achieve my goals start to manifest themselves in things I read, things I watch, in conversations...

Lately, I've been thinking about inner peace and yoga and finding my true calling, etc, etc. I feel like I'm growing every day, traveling closer and closer to that goal.

On a Sunday, we take our lovely family to see Kung Fu Panda 2. The moral of the movie (imo), Inner Peace conquers the bad guy.

Another sign! Thank you, Po.
(so much wisdom to be found in children's movies!)

Counting down to V Day... 5,4,3,2...

My Bear, age 3. Wearing the nightgown he wore the day he was born.
My how he's grown!

Day 5 of mourning (yesterday's yesterday)
Yesterday's yesterday (henceforth known as lasterday) I mourned that built in excuse pregnant Moms and Moms of newborns get... for lasterday I had no excuse. I guess I can claim Mommy brain or rely on the 'blonde thing', but those are much less diplomatic. You get way more empathy and passes on things when you are preggers. Oh! and the chivalry!!

Day 4 of mourning (yesterday)
Yesterday I mourned that anticipation I loved soo so much as it got closer and closer to my due date. The excitement that we will have a new member of our family any day now!! What is more exciting?? Nothing, I tell you... nothing.



Day 3 of mourning (today)
Today I am planning for tomorrow, Father's Day - so really there's not much time for mourning. So I will mourn that last little excuse I used to have for selfishness. When you are pregnant, people say that you are allowed to be selfish - if even for the baby's sake. Selfish to sleep a little more, eat a little more, baby yourself a little more... which brings me to...


Day 2 of mourning (tomorrow)

Tomorrow - Father's Day!! First, a little backstory... Often I feel that my darling husband is a much much better parent than I. People often joke that their husbands are their 'other' child. When I hear this, I think in my head (never have I admitted this out loud) in my relationship, that 'other' child is me. I am the one being taught constantly by my husband how to be a better person, wife, mother. It is me who is the immature one in our 'us'.

That's him! <3

Christopher is the most patient, selfless, loving, gentle person I've ever met. He has to be, in order to put up with me. Consequently, this makes him the BEST DAD EVER! I'm not just saying that. He really is. He once taught himself how to french braid my daughter's hair from eHow.

So, tomorrow amongst our little Father's Day celebratory festivities, I will be quietly mourning to myself for those children that won't get to have the best Dad ever. Totally their loss! I guess that makes these kids the luckiest kids ever because they get more of him. <3

Anyways, Happy Father's Day, Daddy. XOXOXOXOXO

Six to the Fix

Six days to go, and today I am mourning those butterfly kicks.

Those sweet little first feelings of movement only a mother can feel. It's almost like a secret mommy's share with our babies.

Not just the butterfly kicks. The whole, I'm growing a baby in my belly... with my body!!

T 7 days to V* Day...

*V = Vasectomy

I have 3 kids. They are beautiful, small, healthy, happy and vibrant beings. I love them with all my heart and they are a lot of work. I had 3 braggingly easy and wonderful pregnancies. My body LOVES being pregnant. No complications. All delivered vaginally, in my 40th week. Except for a few stretch marks (thunder <but she means lightning>, as my oldest refers to them), my body pretty much bounces right back.

As much as I LOVE having babies and LOVE being pregnant, this part of my life is coming to an end. (That sounds SO depressing!)

I am torn.

Darling husband is done having babies and is fulfilled with the fruit of his genetics he has produced. I have friends and acquaintances that absolutely KNOW with 100% certainty that they are done having kids. He is one of those. He has valid points:

• We can only stretch our 'resources' so far,
  (resources... aka money)
• The children we have need all the attention they can get,
• If we have another, we would be squished in the minivan.

Did I mention my husband is a very 'practical' kind of guy??

On days that the 3 angels stretch my soul and physical body to the limit, I say I am also done.  But other days... Other days, I think... God! These kids are perfect and it was so awesome having them and I LOVE them sooo much, why not have more?!? I probably should have been born at that time where having 7 kids was the norm. But these days, I go to the grocery store with 3 kids and I have to have a clicker to count how many times I get told by a stranger that "I sure do have my hands full".

So these last 7 days of my husband's virility (is that the right word?), I will be dramatic and mourn my child bearing days. :(

Today is the day I mourn the way my huge belly looks so cute in those sundresses.

July 2010, Somewhere in NC.
Me, 8 mos. pregnant with my last - and the fam! I LOVE this picture. :)