Perspective.

One of the things I think about often is the many different perspectives that can be had...

Yesterday, we had a cupcake picnic at Lilly's spot. It was her birthday.
(for anyone who may not know, Lilly was Roxy's BFF who was killed by a drunk driver July 2011)

My perspective on this: While I can't ever think about Lilly without feeling sadness that she was taken from this earth too soon, I am so happy to have known her. I am thankful that my children know her story. It was an angel's birthday and we had to celebrate it!

Even though Lilly was Roxy's friend, she has taught me so much about life and death, about relishing the time we have here, about spirituality, about grief and about friendship.

On earth, she was only 5 years old when she left us, and while she didn't get to celebrate turning 7 yesterday... we celebrated the birth of Lilly and everything she was (she really was a perfect little girl). We celebrated at her grave with pink cupcakes and balloons and sang Happy Birthday.

I also can't ever think about Lilly without my heart breaking for her Mom and Dad and the rest of her loving family...

Perspective #2
Our house is officially (I think?) foreclosed. We are awaiting our kick out date.

My perspective on this: We received that ginormous stack of foreclosure papers the week before my Zoie was born. There I was standing on the steps of my house about to give birth at any moment being served. My husband had earlier that year had a major cutback at his job. And I was about to stop working completely, once this baby of mine was born. I would be starting my new job as full time, stay at home Mom... and we all know that this is a MAJOR pay cut for anyone who worked for any money at all previously.

That, obviously was over 2 years ago... almost 2 and a half years ago. SO many things have changed since then.

I am grateful for the more than 2 years we've had in this house since that day. We, as a family, have grown so much since then. We are closer, we are more aware of the important things in life. We are more grateful, we are more sympathetic, we have more hope.

Moving, to me will signal a new chapter in our book and, while I am happy to have so many memories in this little house, the black mold creeping in my bathroom and the termites slowly eating away at the walls are blazingly bold symbols that it is due time to leave this house and escape the financial prison that was eating away at us and suffocating us from growing to our potential.

My family moved into this house as just Christopher and I (and part time Cam), naive and excited to begin growing our family. I was 6 months pregnant at the time with Roxy and needed a nest. Back then, half of me was screaming "I NEED A HOUSE FOR THIS BABY!" - this was the half of me that won. The other half of me was terrified of signing all those papers and committing to 30 years of paying the bank back an amount that was so large I couldn't even comprehend it. The loan officer and realtor assured us that, in 2 years we could refinance and our payments would be well within our means.

Well, that possibly was the worst advice we had ever received. We bought this house at the peak of the housing bubble. Since 2005, when it was purchased, our home value has dropped about $80,000. Which is a HUGE amount considering we paid a little over half that for the house.

Despite all that madness. I am thankful we did it. I am thankful for the lessons we learned, for the safety this house has provided us, for the memories.

We will leave this house a family of 5 + Cam, a lot wiser and ready to start the beginning of our new adventure.

<3, Tabi :D