While I was supposed to be packing.

Shoebox 1 full of high school letters, 1998 concert ticket, shoebox full of cassette tapes, Jodeci (!!) and my beloved pager.

I got figuratively stuck in a shoebox full of letters from high school yesterday when I was supposed to be packing. It was like crack for my soul. I could not bring myself to finish packing up my closet, make dinner or even to get up to pee. I was stuck for well over 2 hours, yikes!

Sifting through this box full of letters, I realized: (1) I had a small group of really awesome friends, (2) we were so dramatic even though our biggest problems were that our parents wouldn't let us talk on the phone forever or we couldn't find a ride to the mall, and (3) breaking up with (certain) boys made us feel like death was less painful.

I made a promise to myself and even made my friend (who most of these letters were from anyways) swear with me that when our daughters are teenagers and they come to us crying their hearts out because a nerdy little boy broke their heart - we are not allowed to laugh at them. We are not allowed to get frustrated at their depression because we know, in the long run, that they maybe won't even remember what was so cool about said nerdy little boy. Reading those letters made me remember how real those feelings were and how insanely HUGE they felt at the time. Also, that nerdy little boy that broke up with them when they were 14 just might bring them pain and shape their future relationships for the rest of their lives! I made myself a promise to always remember that pain so I can try my hardest to make my little girl feel better with retail therapy, sappy movies and ice cream because, really... it's the only thing that helps.
...
I also found a Will I wrote out at the tender age of fifteen. I must've laughed for a solid five minutes at this, so I thought I'd share. Names have been blurred out for privacy, of course.

"Dear Whom It May Concern,

This is the last Will and Testament of Tabi Kohansby being of sound mind and body I do decree that when I die I should be buried in my black sundress with flowers, with a flower necklace and my funky black sandals. My hair should be done like I do it. It will be an open casket funeral & I want sunflowers & daisies. MM will invite all my friends. I want everyone to be sad & cry a lot. She can have all my clothes & she must wear the dresses a lot. SH can have my TV and whatever else she wants. TW can have all my CD's. MM can also have my CD player since she doesn't have one. TW can have my phone and my jewelry. 
Last but not least I want my parents & family to know I love them. Tiffany, Trisha, Crystal, TJ and Grandmom, too.

(Here comes the embarrassing part)
I want to declare here & now that the only 2 guys I ever loved were ---- & ----. But I love all my friends especially ....... And all other I may have forgot. Remember, I love you all.

LATER!

LOV,

Tabi K.

Aug. 22, 1995

p.s .... gets my turtles and my hermit crab. .... gets my Simba. MM can have my roller blades. And to ..... my funky hat collection! ... gets my pager. "

I mean it's so important to have this stuff in writing! I wouldn't want my loved ones fighting over my CD's and roller blades, you know.

<3, Tabi :D