A Whole Box of Tissues

Lilly's funeral service was today. Definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done. Definitely the saddest. Boy, the emotions!

It was beautiful. They really did a great job. Lilly's favorite color was pink... there were pink details everywhere: pink flowers, pink light bulbs in the wall sconces, pink and purple tulle drapes, rose colored tablecloths, guests wore pink dresses, shirts, ties...

.... even the small casket was draped in pink cloth with small little satin bows.

Butterflies and rainbows. A huge rainbow made out of balloons arched over where she lay. Beautiful.

A Laurie Berkner Band album played in the background as Chris and I looked over pictures of Lilly and her drawings, her toys she played with, decorations from her Rapunzel birthday party. A CD that I know well - it will take on a whole new meaning from now on. It's one that gets played daily around here. One more thing that will remind me of Lilly's smiling face and beautiful blonde curls.

During the service, it was asked if anyone wanted to speak about Lilly. I didn't feel strong enough in that moment, but I regret it now. I wish I was stronger. I should have spoken for Roxy - in honor of her BFF in heaven.

Chris and I went through a whole box of tissues.

After the service, all the guests were invited into a beautiful little garden with a fountain. A prayer was said and butterflies were released in Lilly's honor.

It was perfect.

There was a feeling in that room full of all those people. There was sadness, but that's not the one I'm talking about. I'm not sure what the word is for this feeling - but it will stay in my heart forever.

Maybe it was Lilly's spirit there trying to comfort us?

After the service, Chris had to go to work. I had to relieve Gramma of her babysitting duties. I felt so grateful and lucky that I got to come home to my babies. And everyone was smiling, happy and healthy.

May God bring some peace and comfort to the Mills family in their tender moment. I promise Lilly will not be forgotten.

xo