Monday, November 14, 2011

Is there such a thing as a Brain Graveyard?

There are certain people on this planet that bring out the absolute worst in me.

Q: What's is one thing about yourself that you would change?

A: I would take the portion of my brain that makes me judgmental and cut it out and bury it in the graveyard. (I thought about saying flushing it down the toilet - but I think even a portion of my brain deserves a slight bit more dignity than that.)

I actively try to be non-judgmental to everyone. I like to see the good in everything and to give everyone a good benefit of the doubt. I want to be a warm, positive, empathetic/sympathetic human being. This is my goal.

For the most part, I'd say I am doing a pretty good job working towards that goal. But some people bring out the opposite in me. AND. I. HATE. IT.

It's like a chemical reaction. The part of my brain that says, 'Let's just think about where this person is coming from and why they are making this certain decision' takes a coffee break and the little red scantily clad she-devil on my right shoulder makes her appearance. No benefit of the doubt. Only malicious thoughts.

The good news? There aren't that many people I've come across that incite this reaction. The bad news? I can't seem to get over it.

Currently, I'm working on talking it out with my therapist (aka the Hubs, Christopher). I try to force myself to talk about positive aspects of said people. I try to acknowledge our differences, accept that those differences are different, yet okay. The therapist is suggesting confrontation.

I am not ready for that. I have no filter in situations. A filter would be nice sometimes.




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xo, Tabi :D

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